“It’s futile to resist change”

Change…. A word most of us don’t like. Shoot, a lot of us HATE it. Change can be good or bad depending on your perspective, but inherently, change is inevitable. 

Well a lot of change has happened in the past 6 months. You’ve heard all about it from Whitney and I. With change, sometimes comes a new beginning. With this new beginning, it can be scary or it can be encouraging or both.

For me, a lot of good change has come in the past 6 months. With my mom’s passing, I have tried to kind of embrace the change and grow. I am reading my Bible a lot more. “Draw closer to God and He will draw closer to you.” I’ve also set a goal to try and read 12 books this year (I’m not a huge reader).

However, my fitness has completely shit the bed and changed. I gained 41 pounds after my mom died. Got up to 221 pounds. It was a lot in the wrong direction. People tell me it’s ok, but it’s not ok. My mom died because she didn’t take her health and wellness serious and I quickly started heading back down that same path. I had decided years ago to change for my family. I let that slip and slide back to that weight… UNACCEPTABLE! 

My family needs me!

So with that comes a lot of change in my fitness. Even with the weight gain, I am fitter than 90% of people outside of CrossFit. We take it for granted. In the gym, we are surrounded by strong, beautiful people. We get so used to it that we beat ourselves up when we aren’t the fittest in the gym. Just about everyone at my gym can run a mile, no issue, but I’d be willing to bet that most people outside of a gym couldn’t. That’s a huge issue in our culture. 

Anyways – back to my weight gain. With that change comes a very humbling ego check. I lost a lot of my fitness. I went from being in the top couple fittest guys in our gym to not… I could be upset about it (which I was and have had to work through it), or I could embrace the change and grow. Instead of pushing to my limit everyday working out, I have had to take a step back and slow it down. Less intensity. So I’ve gotten rid of the barbell and am sticking with odd object, dumbbells, and kettlebells for the next year. Keeping my fitness and building my core. Moving well.. mechanics before speed.

It also affected my marriage. I closed myself off. I didn’t talk to the one person that’s been there for me that I devoted my life to. It was completely unintentional. I think I was “being strong.” What I was doing was actually weak. A very weak masculine thing to do. Very Beta Male. My wife and I made vows when we married. Through thickness and through health. I definitely found the thickness part 😂😂 

After I started coming out of the funk a little bit and leaning on God, I promised Whitney I would start talking again and haven’t held anything back. Life is too short and can change overnight, literally. I don’t want to look back and have ruined what I think is truly great. My family is the most important thing to me. 

I feel like this was all over the place and I’m sorry for that. But I needed to talk about it.

Embrace the change. It’s futile not to. If you’re going through something, please reach out. I will listen. 

Love you guys. Thanks for helping me through this season. 

Nick