I NEED HELP! I’M ADDICTED!

Hey, it’s me. I’m the problem, it’s me! 

Did you sing it? 

The 2 things at the top are some of the hardest things to say or admit. Either you’re too proud, don’t see an issue, or you feel shame. 

I think I’m experiencing some of all of that. 

I’ve been big and lost a lot of weight in the past. I was 270 and then got to 180 and have started going back up. I know what I need to do and can do physically, but have been struggling off and on since my mom died. I start to reel it in and get motivated, then I lose it. Part of it is the season in life we are in. We are always busy and working long hours grinding away trying to get ahead, like all of us. So by the time we get home, I am exhausted and don’t want to cook. So we end up eating out…. Generally Mexican, Red Robin or wings, which I tend to get fries with. 

Ultimately it falls on me. I didn’t prepare the proper food for me to eat ahead of time. It doesn’t help with my grandmother; she likes to snack and is in her later years, so she doesn’t care so much about health and wants sweets and the delicious stuff to snack on. So we always have it on hand. 

Well, it’s coming to a head. I haven’t really thought about it much. I justify eating like this that it’s only a couple meals a week or whatever. 

Well…. Whitney didn’t sleep one night last week as she tossed and turned about me letting myself go and potentially doing life alone without me. 

🤯🤯🤯 Talk about a wake up call. My wife, lover, best friend and partner for life… afraid to lose me because I’m being reckless and careless…. How selfish can I be 😡🤬😡🤬 I’m so mad at myself. 

Well, I need help. And I’m addicted to the carbs. I can’t turn them down and I can’t stop once I’ve started. I usually eat way too much and feel like crap. 

So like any addict. I have to stop. I can’t indulge any of it. I don’t have the will power to just have a Hershey kiss to get my sweet fix and then I’m good. The only way I can win this battle is to go all in. I can’t lose this fight… I don’t want to be a hypocrite. So here we go. I’ll check back in and let you know how I’m doing. If you see me having sweets or treats, please call me out. I need the help. I can’t do it alone. I’ll need God and I’ll need good friends. 

Thanks for the support. 

I love you guys.

Stay safe, Fit friends! 

With Love, 

Nick